OneBG Records offers guaranteed success to talented students

Earlier in the school year, the first podcast in a series known as the OneBG Podcasts was released. Due to its unique method of exploring various people and activities in the community, its unprecedented success was no surprise. After hearing about this success, fine arts instructor Alauv Mousicke felt inspired to release his own form of audio-based entertainment: OneBG Records.

OneBG Records is an independent record label for teen artists looking to expand their influence beyond Soundcloud. Any student can apply to publish their music with OneBG Records as long as it contains the phrase “OneBG, OneBG, Go!” at least three times per song and is, by Mousicke’s standards, good.

“I won’t publish it if it’s bad,” Mousicke said.

While application is encouraged among students of all skill levels, it’s mandatory among talented students. Talent will be judged with the implementation of a new standardized test, the Supercool Assessment of Talent (SAT).

If a student is selected to be represented by OneBG Records, they will be excused from their fifth to eighth period classes every other day to begin producing music immediately. If applicable, they may also be asked to remove their existing music from any social platforms.

“They made me delete my Soundcloud profile,” former Soundcloud rapper sophomore Rapp Err said. “I didn’t really mind. Who needs Soundcloud when you have OneBG Records?”

According to Mousicke, his fifth cousin once removed told him that record labels are more successful when they represent multiple genres. In addition to representing well-known genres, OneBG Records will be open to publishing whistling, yodeling and lo-fi hip hop.

“I’ve never been good at the whole singing thing,” senior Wiss Teller said. “I’m a pretty good whistler, though.”

In order to apply for representation by OneBG Records, students must send a sample of their music along with a personal letter to Mousicke’s home address. According to Mousicke, they should make sure they’re submitting their best work, as the success of this application may be the most defining moment of their musical career.

“This might be their only chance to get into the entertainment business,” Mousicke said. “They’d have to be stupid to pass it up.”