After much observation and deep consideration through the school months of August through June, the school board of D214 has decided to have school run through the months of summer, or June-August only. They concurred that students have a better chance of retaining information when stimulated with the warm weather and by learning important life skills on how to survive summer: 101.
Courses that will be implemented throughout the three long months will be how to use sunscreen, how to correctly use a pool noodle, how to walk into the pool without splashing others and last but not least, how to apply bug spray.
“I had no idea that the correct way to eat ice cream was eating from the bottom up,” Vee Nila said. “The classes are teaching me so many fundamental life skills that I would’ve never learned before.”
The school day will start out with a trip to Six Flags in order to warm up your brain muscles and stimulate the brain activity on a rollercoaster. Then, students are able to board a plane for a quick trip to California because the palm trees have been proven to have the best shade to nap under, according to Loss Sangeles.
“I swear I remember laying under a palm tree in Cali and waking up the next day, so it was definitely the best nap of my life,” Burnt Nturnt said.
However, what seems to be the favorite activity during the school day is bug catching. Once a student is able to find four types of bugs, they are able to have a cookout and roast the bug of their choice during the campfire in the nighttime. The bug also serves as their lunch because it includes many different types of protein and nutrients in it.
“My rolly polly had the best sounding sizzle. He was definitely my most prized possession up until he disintegrated in the fire,” Nate Ture said.
In case students get too wrapped up in the warm and burning heat of the summer, they are able to escape to Alaska for a week, with a cost of 50 cents for a round-trip. They can also get free rides on a polar bear and learn how to get their tongue stuck on an igloo.
“The best part of the day is always learning how to gather the right amount of snow in our palms and make a snow cone,” Kona Ice said. “You also have to learn how to adjust to the new flavoring of the pure and natural snow without the grape or cherry addition.”
In addition, since many seniors will be stressed out about their future in college, many scholarship opportunities will be offered, such as $17,000 to the best contestant that can make the best type of guacamole and an internship to shadow a professional tanner.
“I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be able to learn all of these vital summer skills that I can apply now and pass on to future generations,” Bron Ze said. “Getting to learn how to make a kiddie cocktail was probably one of the most important things I’ll remember and cherish.”