Electric Smart Cars become mandatory under Biden’s newest order


Samuel Schwartz, Staff Writer

When Joe Biden came into office, he promised to unite the nation and ran on what democrats called a “Moderate Platform”. Unfortunately, that promise was broken and his reputation as a “moderate” came crashing down when he signed his newest executive order. 

On April 1st, 2022 President Joe Biden signed an executive order banning all gasoline cars, and requiring that every American 16 and up buy an electric Smart Car.

This order sparked outrage throughout the car industry and led to protests throughout the nation. 

“All I want to do is put a supercharged v8 in a 1982 Honda Civic…is that too much to ask for?!” Axel Delorian said, as he broke down in tears before my very eyes. “Ever since my dad, Brembo Delorean, passed away it’s been my dream to carry on his legacy as Senior Executive of Brembo Delorean Industries, and former vice president Biden has made that impossible!”

Many car enthusiasts are upset about this change and are demanding that Biden Be removed from office.

“All we want to do is go 150MPH on the expressway, and that right is being taken from us!” self proclaimed “turbo lover” Kirko Douglas said.

The White House also stated that any mods resulting in the power of the smart car going over 90HP are now prohibited. These mods include a formerly confiscated engine, brand new motor, computer tampering, and more.

“Sure some people won’t be able to afford them,” press secretary Talks Alotta said. “But we aren’t concerned about that. We are all very excited about this change. In the end, everyone will love smart cars!, we will make sure of that!”

Fines and punishments for driving gasoline powered cars are still being determined and nothing is confirmed yet.