Harbor Day-based “Happy Days” reshape American education

Monthly Harbor Day activities bring joy to students of all ages, heightening emotional intelligence and strengthening bonds among classmates. In fact, they bring so much joy that Principal Harr Burr has decided to add a Harbor-Day-inspired course requirement to students’ schedules: Happy Days.

“They will be called ‘Happy Days’ because if they are a part of our school day, everyone will be happy all day long,” Burr said.

Happy Days will be treated as a two-period-long class in place of English and mathematics. During Happy Days, teachers will lead discussions about the importance of different qualities in our lives, with the first few qualities being “frivolity” and “hair color.”

Burr expects that the school will run out of quality ideas around halfway through second semester, so fourth quarter discussions will instead surround proper nouns such as “Taylor Swift” and “Grand Canyon National Park.” Proper nouns are difficult to think of, so some of these discussion topics may be students’ full names, encouraging classmates to have daily two-hour conversations about one another.

“I hope my Happy Day teacher picks my name for a group discussion,” senior Atension C. Kerr said. “I’d love to find out what everyone likes most about me!”

Burr hopes to set a precedent with his implementation of Happy Days. He has been in contact with principals throughout the state and hopes to spread his ideas on a national level.

He also intends to eventually replace the traditional high school to college route with a high school to Happy Day route. Instead of attending college, students will use their Happy Day training to begin feeling Happy immediately following graduation. They will not need careers because they will be perfectly Happy without them.

“I’m so Happy that my education in English and math is about to come to an end in favor of Happy Days!” sophomore Nowon Ever said. “I never really wanted to go to college anyways.”