The classic whimsical holiday on April first, “April Fools Day”, has been canceled due to complaints from people who cite overused jokes and pranks. Subjects have reported the holiday is wildly antiquated and unuseful in every way.

“There is no creativity. All the jokes have been used over and over and over and over and over again. It’s getting on our nerves,” senior Joe Curr said. “I’ve made some elaborate pranks a couple years ago, and I’ve even seen those stunts revamped and remade this year by people who execute it so unprofessionally. It’s honestly embarrassing seeing my work being plagiarized like this.” 

The complaints have reached an all time high after the classic water bucket balancing on a slightly open door was pulled a few too many times. The staff heard their statements and have canceled the usage of April Fools Day pranks entirely. 

“We’d like to keep these clowns off our streets,” Buffalo Grove High School Police Chief, Sur Kiss, stated, “There will be no pies flying through the air on our watch.”

 The order was taken seriously when class clown Billy “Bob” Ringling was taken into custody this morning for using a hand buzzer on a fellow student while greeting them in the hallway. A few more students were reprimanded while using electric shock gum on their peers, pleading 

“We didn’t know it was canceled. We thought it was all just an elaborate prank to make us not do our usual routines,” sophomore Bartholomew “Bar” Numb said. 

The police order has even continued to the student household, barring the use of “dad jokes” in the vicinity of students. Parental figures of students are also being revoked of their rights as well. 

“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie,” a dad of a student asked. “Sofishticated! Hahahaha….what I’m being taken into custody? For my joke? You have to admit it’s pretty hilarious though…Fine! This detainment is a joke!”

So put away your whoopie cushions, fake spiders and silly string. This is no joking matter.